What if you died?
by Hugs6
Summary: Death comes to Ouran. AU read authors note at beginning.
1. The one that changed us all

**So this story is set in several different Alternate Universes so if one character dies and then that character is revived for the next chapter don't freak out. **

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**Chapter 1- **The one that changed us all.

He would be the first to melt. To wilt on the floor like a melted ice cream. Like he was dead or dying, but he wasn't. He would be the first to start sobbing, to start shuddering and shaking and sobbing. Kyoya would pull him to his feet, always there for Tamaki when his friend needed him. Tamaki was the first to melt. Tamaki was the first to cry. The first one to scream and react and get angry and give up.

"Suoh." Kyoya said.

"NO! YOU CAN'T HELP ME OOTORI. YOU CAN'T. YOU CAN ONLY TRY BUT THAT WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH. YOU'RE NOT HER. SHE'S DEAD." Tamaki screamed. He screamed and raged and sobbed and Kyoya took it as tears began to stream down his face too. The dark Lord never cried. The dark lord never showed weakness. But Kyoya did. Just once. Just once he cried like he'd lost the sunlight. In a way, he had. They all had. Kyoya was the second to cry. Tamaki melted into Kyoya's hug and they held each other up as they thought about 'd changed them both, she'd changed them all. She had been their sunshine. How do you react when the sunshine disappears and you know its never coming back? Kyoya Ootori had been in love with her. But most of them had been. Tamaki had been the first to fall and the first to react when she died. But they all loved her.

Honey wasn't Honey when she died. He hadn't loved her like Tamaki or the others had loved her, but as a friend. She had still brought sunshine to his life, even though it was already so sunny. It was so sunny anymore. Honey didn't cry like the others. He didn't. He didn't talk either though. There was no cake that would make him feel better. Bun Bun couldn't even come close. He felt sick inside. He didn't talk to anyone, not Mori or his brother or his parents. He was silent, completely silent. Slowly he fell into the routine, got back into the habit of martial arts. No more cake. No more cuteness, that wasn't him anymore. He was silent, he was tough, he was angry. So angry. Angry that she had died. Angry that it was a car crash that killed her. Angry at the stupid driver that had crashed into her car and killed her. Angry at the Hitachiin brothers for giving her a car in the first place. Angry at everything and everyone. He took it out in training. No one dared fight him. Not even Mori. Mori wasn't even allowed to speak to him.

That was what drove Mori over the edge, not just losing her. He had loved her. Never said anything about it, then again he never said anything about anything. Silent had been his thing, until Honey took over. But he had thought about her, thought that she was adorable, perfect just the way she was. Thought she was the best thing to happen to Ouran. She had had a power about her that Mori had admired. A power to make people care about things without letting on that she cared too. She never gave up on something she was really committed too. She didn't care what other people thought. And when she had died Mori shed more than a few tears. A few days were spent where all he could do was cry. No one had ever seen Mori cry before, and no one still ever will, because he cried in secret, in his meditation room with only his pets to keep him company. When he had been able to stop crying he went to see Honey. Misery loves company he assumed. But Honey was different. Honey was harder, rougher around the edges, meaner. He'd snapped before but now Honey's life was a big snap. Honey had been Mori's best friend. Done the talking so Mori could be quiet. Made him smile if only on the inside. And now Honey refused to acknowledge that he even existed. And Mori had lost two of the things he loved the most.

Hikaru was tentative. He had cried when she had died. Bawled. But Kaoru bawled harder. Kaoru Had loved her more. Kaoru had loved her more than he loved them. Hikaru could have never gone that far. His brother would have always been the most important thing to him. But Kaoru had shown that he loved her more than anything. That he would never share her with anyone. Kaoru had been a mess and now he wasn't speaking. Wasn't eating, wasn't responding. Hikaru was tentative. He wanted to reach out to his brother, but saying that everything would be okay was too big of a lie. Hikaru didn't like lying to his brother. But it hurt him to see Kaoru like this. Reaching out would require caution, walking on eggshells. One wrong move would leave both of them broken forever. But doing nothing would leave them just as broken. They had always just had each other. And one day they had had her. One day. And they had fallen for her. They always liked the same things. Sure, there had been tension. It was hard to love the same girl as your brother did. But everyone had loved her. Everyone. And she had a way of smiling at you that made all the tensions disappear for just one second. She had a way of entrancing the Dark Lord and breaking into a world that two brothers had planned to share separate from everyone else forever. She had changed everyone's life.

And now she is dead.

And Tamaki is melted.

And Kyoya is sobbing with him.

And Honey isn't Honey.

And Mori has lost.

And Hikaru is broken because Kaoru is broken too.

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**Here's hoping chapter two is as glorious as this one.**

**What should I do next? Mori dying? Honey? One of the twins? **


	2. The one that had a plan

**So this story is set in several different Alternate Universes so if one character dies and then that character is revived for the next chapter don't freak out. **

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**Chapter 2- **The one that had a plan

Tamaki had acted outrageously before. But he'd never been outraged. At least not this outraged. He was very very mad. He was screaming at everyone who came close but mostly... Mostly he saved his screaming for Mr. Ootori.

"HOW COULD YOU HAVE LET HIM DIE! YOUR WHOLE BUSINESS IS MEDICAL CENTERED WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE HIM!" He screamed hard until he was dragged away and locked up in his room. He started crying. He was angry at everyone but he knew he was most mad at himself. He had been there when it started. He had been there. He should have known something was wrong.

Kyoya had never been clumsy before. He hardly ever stumbled or tripped. Whenever he did Tamaki had always been there to pick him up. And if Tamaki fell Kyoya had always been there to begrudgingly pull him up and roll his eyes and call him an idiot or something like that. That was what Kyoya did. More often than not he picked up the pieces. He made Tamaki look good while cleaning up little messes that Tamaki made.

And then.

They'd been hanging out. Ordinary day. Homework and club plans. Tamaki wistfully thinking about Haruhi. He was always thinking about Haruhi. Secretly he knew Kyoya did too but he never told his friend he knew. Kyoya didn't like to admit that he liked girls ever. He was too cold and calculating. Tamaki didn't know how he felt about Kyoya having liked Haruhi. Tamaki felt he would have been okay with Kyoya ending up with her. But maybe he was too selfish for that. Selfish and angry. That's how he felt now. Refusing to admit that he was to blame for Kyoya's death. He'd been right there when Kyoya had fallen. Why hadn't he picked him up like he was supposed to? Friends are supposed to pick each other up, and Kyoya had been his best friend.

This is what happened:

They we're going to go downstairs, get something to eat and goof off. Tamaki said he would play the piano for Kyoya. Kyoya had always liked the sound though it was another one of those things that he never said out loud. Tamaki had made it downstairs and was waiting when Kyoya had slipped, just slipped and fell down the entire flight of stairs.

"Kyoya! Are you okay?" Tamaki helped his friend up.

"Yeah. I'm fine." Kyoya was holding his head. Why hadn't he pressed him further? Why hadn't he known something was wrong? Kyoya had hit his head too hard. He hadn't woken up the next morning. Tamaki screamed and blamed the rest of the world, but it was his fault. It was his fault. It was his fault.

They asked him to speak at the funeral, a solemn affair that was peppered with familiar faces all looking at him expectantly. Tamaki wanted to tell them how Kyoya had been his best friend, the first friend he made at Ouran. How Kyoya had always been there to make sure Tamaki didn't do anything too stupid. Tamaki wanted to tell them about how nice Kyoya could be. About how Kyoya always stood in the shadows and pulled strings letting him take the credit. Tamaki wanted to say all of this, but looking at the expectant faces, some of them in tears, he couldn't do it. One glance at Kyoya laying calm unsmiling in the coffin was all it took for him to break down.

"THIS IS ALL MY FAULT." Tamaki sobbed, running crying from the room. He couldn't take it. He c-couldn't. He ran and ran and kept running. In his head Kyoya was still alive, affectionately calling him idiot for running away like a blubbering mess. Tamaki managed a smile at that.

"Yeah. I guess I am an idiot Kyo."

No one knew why he talked to himself after that, but it made him better, so no one ever said anything. Bubbly Tamaki came back, but angry Tamaki still existed and sometimes he would scream and yell and cry into the pillow case at night because one day even the Kyoya in his head deserted him. That day Tamaki gave up on bubbly Tamaki. He gave up on the world ever being normal again.

Kyo was gone.

What is normal?

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**Its like a hodge podge of Tama being an idiot and being angry and sad and honestly I didn't know what to do. Tell me if I did a good job because I doubt I did.**


	3. The one that was unbreakable

**Thank you lovely commenters! You are all fab! Read Ouran its worth it.**

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**Chapter 3- **The one that was unbreakable

The first word out of his mouth when he heard.

"NO!" No he refused to believe it. Takashi Morinozuka was unbreakable. Unbreakable. No one he had ever fought had ever beating him. Honey had beaten him before but he didn't like to make a habit of it, showing off wasn't his thing. He'd always let Mori be the strong one even though he could easily flip him. But no one else had ever been able to beat Mori in a fight.

Honey was furious.

Furious.

Burning anger filled the places where cutesy used to be. A scowl fitted his face. He was mostly angry at Taka. How could he?! Honey had begged him to stop getting into fights, that he wasn't really defending their honor since no one cared. The only people Taka ever defended so violently was Honey and Haru-chan. Takashi was crazy about Haru-chan. Only Honey knew that fact. Honey had been the only person Mori ever talked to usually. And when Honey was sad Mori had been one of three things that had made him feel better.

Takashi

Cake

and Bun Bun.

Now Honey was sad and nothing was working.

Taka couldn't help because he was dead.

Cake couldn't help because Taka was dead

And Honey couldn't even stand looking at the stupid stuffed animal without bursting into to tears or breaking something.

Why had Taka insisted on defending her honor? Why had Haru-chan stepped into their lives in the first place? Why had Taka fallen hard for her like nobody's business? Why had no one even tried to help him? Three guys. Three guys.

If Honey had been there he would have helped.

But he hadn't. He'd been at the dentist.

THE STUPID DENTIST!

Haruhi had screamed, witnesses said. Screamed that someone help as Mori got beat, beat badly. Three guys. Even Taka couldn't take three guys alone. At least not three guys like them, ruthless, mean. Willing to break unbreakable Takakshi Morinozuka. It wasn't right. He was the nicest person anyone knew, okay maybe not, but he was endearing. It wasn't fair. He was just trying to stick up for his crush. Now he had no chance of winning Haruhi over. But then, he never really did. Almost all of Ouran had fallen for Haruhi when they realized she was a girl. Haruhi was still blind to most people's crushes, but at the funeral Honey had told her.

She'd just stood there.

"Oh. I had no idea." She'd finally said. Honey wanted to spit.

"Of course you didn't! You're blind to everything! You would realize a guy liked you if he sent you a note saying do you like me check yes or no!" He hadn't yelled that of course. Haruhi was his friend even when he was furious. Besides it was a funeral. He couldn't scream at during Takashi's funeral. It was sacred. Solemn. Silent like he had been. It was there way of respecting him. But Honey wanted to say something. He wanted to talk about Mori and who he had been. He wanted the whole world to know that Takashi Morinozuka had had feelings and was a great person he just hid it. And he'd been good at hiding it. Honey had just been the person he didn't have to hide around. And that hadn't changed right up until three guys when so far as to break him. It wasn't fair.

Honey spent a good few days in his room restless and sad shut off from the people who cared for him because the person who cared the most had died. He stayed that way until a knock on the door came.

Chika and Satoshi.

Honey hadn't seen either since the funeral. Satoshi had been completely miserable, still was from the look on his face. He was carrying a cardboard box that didn't look like much. Chika was cradling Mori's pet Piyo. Honey smiled a little at that, but on the inside. If Mori couldn't have Piyo then it definitely Chika deserved him. Chika loved little animals just as much as Mori did. It was his one weakness.

"Hey Mitskuni." Satoshi said his voice sad and hurt.

"Hey Satoshi." Honey wanted to give him a hug. He wanted to give Satoshi a hug and comfort him. But He didn't know if that would work. Still something pulled him to try. This was Mini-Mori. He needed comforting just as much as Honey did. So he wrapped his arms around Satoshi. Satoshi dropped the box and hugged back. Chika didn't like emotion but he said nothing. He wanted his brother and friend to have some happiness. Satoshi pulled away and picked up the box.

"Mom wanted to know if you wanted some of Taka's old things. Pictures mostly. Chika wanted Piyo." Satoshi seemed apologetic.

"No need to apologize. Taka would have wanted Chika to have Piyo. I'll look through the pictures later. Thank you Satoshi. Come over whenever." He said trying to comfort him. Satoshi nodded trying not to cry.

As Honey looked through the pictures he couldn't help from smiling, and crying. He pinned them to his walls one by one, the walls becoming a monument to his friend. Most of the world never knew who Takashi Morinozuka was. But looking at these walls they would know. Everyone would know.


	4. The ones that were interchangeable

**Decided to do three different takes on the twins...**

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**Chapter 3- **The ones that were interchangeable.

Of course they would die together. Of course. No one said exactly how it happened, but the Host club knew that it had been Kaoru that had gotten sick. No one said exactly how it happened but maybe just maybe Hikaru had... No that was wrong. They weren't going to jump to conclusions just because they weren't there to be asked.

None of them had seen Haruhi cry before, not like this. She just cried when they got the news. No reluctance, no shame, just ugly tears. Tamaki was the first to hug her even though it hurt to see how much she'd loved them, her best friends. Somewhere along the way Mori had stolen her away. Kyoya was just standing there. They were making this about her. It was about them. They had died. Part of Kyoya wanted to calculated, plan for the club after that. But he wasn't that cold. He sank to the couch. He was sad, legitimately. The Hitachiin brothers had been his friends, even though they teased him and tried to prank him they were two of five people six people he called his friends. He supposed it could have been worse. Tamaki could have died, or Haruhi. But...

"We need to do something." Kyoya found himself speaking though he hadn't planned on it.

"This isn't about the club is it? Hikaru and Kaoru just died." Tamaki said, seeming a bit cold towards Kyoya which hurt the Dark Lord more than he was willing to admit.

"Of course not. Who do you think I am? We need to do something for them. To remember them, to honor them."

"We should go to their house. Their parents are probably grieving and in shock, like we are." Haruhi said, wiping her tears. Mori and Tamaki were kind of sharing hugging her, with Honey squished somewhere in between. Honey's face was so miserably sad. Kyoya knew Honey understood how he was feeling. He guessed they all did, but people saw him as the dark lord. They couldn't imagine he was feeling sad. Kyoya just wasn't going to cry. Honestly he didn't know how. He'd never cried. Well maybe once as a child but he couldn't remember that so it couldn't be proven. But he was sad.

Tamaki nodded.

"We should go to their house." They'd closed the club for the day as soon as they found out. While they walked down the halls toward their cars they told the hoards of girls complaining about Host club being closed the news. Someone had to tell them. Many girls burst into tears. It disgusted Kyoya just a little. Those girls hadn't really known the Hitachiin brothers. They were just crying because people had died, and those people were beautiful and intriguing to them. It was stupid. Still he didn't say anything. In any other circumstances they would be turning on the charm, comforting the girls. But they just kept walking. They had more pressing matters to attend to.

They found themselves at the doors of the Hitachiin mansion just like they said they'd be. It wasn't their first visit or anything. They knocked.

"Oh."

"We know they... We're so so sorry..." They hugged her.

"I just... I j-just can't believe it... I never even got good at telling them apart. I never even ever knew them..." She said.

"They didn't let anyone know them for the longest time. Its not your fault. They would've followed in your footsteps. They were bold and stylish like you." Tamaki always knew what to say except for when Kyoya did, but now Kyoya couldn't say anything.

"Thank you." She said inviting them in. She took them to their room, sighing. She showed them where they had died. There was blood on Hikaru's bed. He had... Haruhi flinched when she saw it and drifted toward the dressers, aimlessly rustling through them.

"They're exactly the same. They have all the same things. Of course they's die together." Haruhi said trying not to cry. When she found a box of pictures of her she couldn't help it, she dropped the box and broke down crying on Hikaru's bed, right by the bloodstains. They had to lead her out, she was crying so hard. Kyoya couldn't leave the room though. They were exactly the same. And they hadn't really let the Host club get to know them. They were no better than the girls in the hallway. Except they had known them, right? He looked through the pictures of Haruhi and realized that there were just as many pictures of the Twin's goofing off in there as well. Goofing off grinning. Separate from the rest of the world and happy that way. He collected those pictures and brought them downstairs to where the rest of the host club was.

"This is their monument. This is how we honor them. We keep them together the way they were always supposed to be. There are reasons there are no pictures in this house with only one without the other. Maybe we should have never breached their little world." Kyoya said, laying out the pictures.

"If we hadn't breached their world they still would have died Kyoya. They just would have died lonely with only each other. Someone needs to be their friend so their memory can be kept alive." Kyoya nodded, studying the pictures.

"We will keep their memory alive. These pictures are them. They will never go in a memory book. They will never be mass produced and sold. They are our friends and you can't sell your friends." Kyoya said, and with that he turned away and began to cry. Tamaki tore his arm away from around Haruhi and went to be with his best friend.

Of course they would die together.

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**ACK that was sooo...**

**Kyoya reacting to Tamaki next... Should be brilliant.**

**And yes I was implying that Hikaru killed himself when Kaoru died. Sorry that got dark.**


	5. The one that always smiled

**:D**

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**Chapter 5- **The one that always smiled

Tamaki Suoh was a liar. But then so was Kyoya. Kyoya had known. Why hadn't he done anything? He could have gotten Tamaki help. He knew that Tamaki had what his mother had had years ago. Why hadn't he done anything? The Ootori family's business was well versed in medical treatments. What had kept him from helping Tamaki? What? What?

Everything. Everything had stopped him. Tamaki didn't want to be helped. He wanted to go out quietly with out people making a fuss. He'd only told Kyoya because Kyoya was his best friend. Tamaki had never been more sure of anything than he was that he should die. And on that night September 19th he had. Kyoya had been called at about One in the morning. Kyoya who didn't like being woken up for any reason had been up in three seconds flat throwing on clothes not bothering to run a comb through his now unruly hair. Kyoya who cared so much about his image and looking sophisticated threw on the first thing he saw, one of those silly host club outfits. He'd raced downstairs not letting anyone stop him from driving in the middle of the night to the Suoh's second estate. Tamaki was in bed weak and barely hanging on. He'd been sick for months but no one else had known or realized except the secretive Suoh Staff, Mr. Suoh, and Kyoya. Tamaki had made Kyoya swear that he wasn't going to tell anyone or try to help him. Why had Kyoya sworn to keep the secret? Tamaki didn't want people to worry. Tamaki had let Kyoya carry the worry all by himself for months. People had probably never noticed how worried he was, or how sad. Kyoya had never worn his emotions until that night. That night by Tamaki's bed watching his friend die in dim light. Tears streaming down his face begging Tamaki to stay strong.

"You can do this please... Tamaki... You're strong enough I know you are please don't die. Please." Kyoya had never thought that he would lose his best friend. Worst case scenario he would die years before Tamaki ever did. But it hadn't worked out that way. Tamaki was still smiling though. Even as he died.

"Its okay Kyoya. Its okay..." Tamaki said as he died. Kyoya would always remember how Tamaki always smiled, always. Kyoya would always remember how Tamaki had been smiling when he died, peaceful like Tamaki had no regrets. He probably didn't. Tamaki always did the right thing. Kyoya had plenty of regrets, and he wasn't even the one dead. The biggest regret he knew would be watching his friend die like this, having never done anything to help.

"I should have done something. You didn't have to die!" Kyoya was sobbing now.

"You were my friend Ootori. I didn't need anything else. You will always be my best friend." Kyoya was in tears. So sad. So agonized. He could hardly look at Tamaki. Next time he looked up Tamaki was dead. That night Kyoya slept on the floor in Tamaki's bedroom, an uneasy uncomfortable sleep. He hoped when he woke up that Tamaki wouldn't be dead, but the only thing that happened when he woke up was Antoinette, Tamaki's dog, had cuddled up beside him. Kyoya didn't go to school that day. He didn't even go home. No one protested to him sitting in Tamaki's room for hours playing with Antoinette and looking at all of Tamaki's old things. At all the pictures on the walls of the host club, and Haruhi, and even some of just him and Tamaki. Pictures reminding them of their friendship. Kyoya suddenly wished he hadn't given away all the things that Tamaki had given them. He supposed he still had a few of the knick knacks. Before last night those souvenirs had been useless. Now they were monumentally precious. Later Mr. Suoh asked if Kyoya wanted to keep Antoinette now that Tamaki was gone. Kyoya had never been fond of animals, but he felt a connection to the dog now. His dad didn't even flinch when he brought her home. Usually he would have yelled. But Kyoya glared at anyone who even dared question him. He would not let Tamaki down. Tamaki had said all he needed to do was be his friend. And now he would be that more than ever. He would take care of Tamaki's dog and treat people the way Tamaki would have. Maybe that wasn't him, but Kyoya wasn't even sure of who he was anymore. His head hurt constantly trying to figure it out, and he would cry whenever he thought of that night.

At the funeral, he broke. He was standing there staring at the coffin. That same peaceful smile that he had died with was on Tamaki's face. It caused something to snap inside of Kyoya, unleashing the dark lord once more, in one final, huge, firework display of resentment and depression.

"YOU IDIOT! YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DIE! WHY'D YOU MAKE ME PROMISE SUOH WHY'D YOU DO IT? YOU COULD HAVE LIVED! YOU SHOULD HAVE LIVED! I HATE YOU! YOU WERE MY BEST FRIEND!" He screamed and sobbed resting his head on the coffin and letting all the pent up emotions leak out of him. No one said anything or made him move. They just watched him, silent, letting him sob until he had nothing left. And then his father gently helped him up from the floor and led him from the funeral, treating Kyoya like the fragile egg he was then.

Kyoya regretted it every day of his life. But he always remembered that despite having done nothing to prevent his death Tamaki had still considered him his best friend.


	6. The one that was made of sunshine

**Try not to sob baes. **

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**Chapter 6- **The one made of sunshine

CRACK.

When Takashi Morinozuka's hand hit the brick wall there was a sickening crack and pain shot through his hand. It felt good. He reared back to hit again but someone grabbed his arm.

"No Mori stop!" He spun, moving to shove the person out of the way with all the force of an angry wild animal.

When he saw it was haruhi he couldn't bring himself to. He didn't want to hurt her. But he didn't want to talk to her either. He looked away as his knuckles began to bleed. He needed to hit harder. More pain might block out the pain inside, the pain at losing his best friend, his only only real friend. The only one he ever really talked to. The only one who wasn't shocked whenever he talked.

"The pain distracts me." Mori muttered.

"Find a better distraction, please. Come on. We'll go get this wrapped." She gently took his hand and sighed. He followed her to the infirmary thinking about her word and Honey's words.

"I know you like her Takashi. Go on and tell her. Maybe she'll like you back." A better distraction. The nurse wrapped his hand.

"A distraction?" He asked, unsure, hurt.

"Something other than pain. Hurting yourself never helps. When I lost my mom I worked. I did everything around the house. It helped me not lose my mind. Punching walls isn't going to do that. It will only make you angrier. You are angry aren't you? That Honey is dead?" He was. Furious. Honey had died in a car wreck. It had just happened so sudden Mori hadn't been able to react or even breathe. It was hard to breathe, difficult to sleep, and impossible not to cry when ever he thought about his best friend. He needed a distraction.

"I have a distraction." He said. He leaned in and kissed Haruhi.

There were ripples afterwards. Ripples in the normal chaotic peace in host club. Everyone was staring at him. He didn't know why he'd even come, without Honey he was purposeless, wait, wait he knew why he'd come. Haruhi.

A distraction. Honey had told him that he needed to tell Haruhi that he liked her before one of the other members beat him to it. Honey hadn't fallen for Haruhi like the others, Honey had his own girlfriend. She was mourning. Everyone in Honey's life was. Chika who sometimes hated his brother had been in tears last time Mori had seen him. The Host Club had mourned and paid their respects at Honey's funeral. They'd decorated it with sunshiny balloons and stuffed animals, to reflect Honey's cheerful childish nature. After everyone left Mori stayed behind punching balloons and ripping stuffed animals furious for no reason. Honey should be alive he kept thinking. They'd did a wonderful job restoring his body for the open casket. Mori had seen him right after the crash, his tiny frame had been crushed in the wreck, Honey's precious toy Bun Bun lost in the wreckage.

Anything cutesy reminded him of Honey. Haruhi would be his distraction from that grief.

"You kissed my Haruhi."

"She's not yours Tamaki Suoh. I have just as much right to kiss her as anyone else. You're fault for not making a move and admitting your feelings."

"The Mori I know wouldn't have admitted his feelings either." Tamaki challenged.

"Well Honey's death changed things. I'm not that Mori anymore. Haruhi isn't mine and she isn't yours either. But I kissed her. Her choice now." Haruhi was standing right there, staring at them, her mouth hanging open.


	7. The one that was his world

**chapter 7- **The one who was his world

Hikaru Hitachiin was unresponsive to the world because in his mind the world no longer existed and nothing was okay. It was supposed to last forever. It wasn't supposed to end at least not like this. They were supposed to die together and Hikaru had desperately wanted to. They' had to pry the knife from his hands as he attempted to slash at his own skin tears streaming constantly down his face. His world had died. It lay, now, cold and lifeless in a coffin. There should have been two coffins that day. His brother had been his world, and now his life was empty and meaningless and Hikaru Hitachiin wanted to die.

People kept themselves from mentioning Kaoru. They'd seen Hikaru. One girl had tried to comfort him and he'd snapped, screaming at her and causing her to cry and run away. Hikaru was then and trembled every few minutes, a body wracking shudder at the thought of his brother in a coffin, without him. Hikaru didn't know what to do or how to be one without the other. He'd been alone without Kaoru before, but only in his most vivid nightmares. When they were apart everything seemed cold and lonely and even when they were apart their minds were occupied with thinking of each other. When they were reunited the would smile. Identical, relieved smiles.

But that smile would never appear on Hikaru's face again. He couldn't talk without sobbing or screaming. He couldn't eat without wanting to puke. No one brought him comfort just despair. Everyone just reminded him of Kaoru, the feelings and experience they'd had together. Haruhi was the worst, because they'd both like her, and seeing her reminded him of the only times he and Kaoru had fought, always because of her. She'd destroyed their perfect distant world apart from everyone else. With earthquakes of emotions that had been foreign to them before. Her friendliness was like a fire burning down the boarders that kept them apart from the world. And their affection towards her was what drove one final blow between them, separating them from themselves. They were supposed to be the twins always together never fighting. She had changed that and part of Hikaru hated her for that, hated her so much.

But Kaoru's death had changed even more. And Hikaru hated his brother for dying and his parents for wrestling the knife from his fingers. He hated the sickness that killed his brother and the doctor's that hadn't saved him. He hated so much now. Kaoru would always be the only person he'd be able to love with such feeling and ferocity. But now that Kaoru was gone all Hikaru could feel was hatred and anger. Boiling passionate hatred. People who were in no way related to Kaoru or his death at all Hikaru found himself hating just because they weren't Kaoru and they couldn't bring him back to life. Everything had been ruined. Every thing was gone. Nothing would be the same and thats all Hikaru wanted. The people at Ouran were some of the richest in the world but no amount of money could bring Kaoru back and he hated that too. And he hated himself because he had lived instead of Kaoru, Kaoru should have lived and he should have died, and if Kaoru was destined to die why couldn't Hikaru have died with him to brave the underworld if such a place existed together. They'd always done things together. Hikaru wasn't brave by himself. He'd always acted tough but that's because he'd always had his brother there beside him. It wasn't okay Kaoru had died, Kaoru so young, younger than him. Kaoru had been the nice one! Kaoru had only snapped once or twice, never losing his mind for no reason. And now Kaoru was dead and nothing was okay.

Of all the things Hikaru just wanted to be dead too. He didn't eat, didn't sleep, didn't even try. Kaoru was dead inside and out, but Hikaru, whose brother had been his world, was only dead in the inside.


	8. The one that was cute

**I'm rewriting Mori's reaction because people didn't see it as emotionally challenging. I still like my first take but I do like this one more. This is the final take though. Kasanoda may never be written we'll see.**

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**chapter 7- **The one that was cute

Takashi Morinozuka hated himself. He made choices purely based on how much _pain_ he would feel. The more pain the more likely he was to do it. He'd always felt like he needed to, to serve and protect Honey. If he failed he would hurt himself. Push himself to pain in training or manipulate someone else into hurting him. He'd done that when Honey had had a cavity. The guilt he felt now was a billion times worse. This wasn't just a cavity. Honey was DEAD. He'd died in a bloody car wreck. His little body crushed in that horrible horrible care wreck. The funeral was tomorrow. Mori had only a day to beat himself up about it. Tomorrow people would see it? They'd try to comfort him. He'd do what he always did. Manipulate them into hurting him for him.

The today before tomorrow. The today before the funeral he trained, he pushed hard. He pushed harder than his usually strong body would allow and he just kept pushing. Pushing until the breaking point broke. Until he was dead on the inside. Until he was in pain, sobbing in pain. He had always been quiet. Always been strong. And now he was lying broken on the floor sobbing.

The room was not sound proof. Someone was bound to come investigate. Mori wished it hadn't been his little brother. He'd never had to be strong in front of Honey because Honey knew his soft side, Honey was his soft side. He'd shared everything with Honey. Every single thought. But he couldn't be weak like this in front of his brother who looked up to him and expected him to be the perfect hero that Satoshi had always seen him as.

"Taka!" Satoshi screamed, running over.

"Taka you hurt yourself. You should know not to train this hard. Are you okay? " Satoshi helped his brother up. Mori ached inwardly and outwardly but he composed himself.

"I'm okay. " He said before going silent. Satoshi didn't believe a word his older brother said.

"Mori. Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because your best friend is dead. I don't think you're okay. You know not to push yourself that hard in training. Why'd you do it?"

"I'm tired. I'll see you tomorrow at the funeral." With that Mori disappeared.

He was at the funeral before anyone else. Looking at the coffin. Honey had belonged on his shoulders. Mori had never had a problem carrying Honey around. He knew that if Honey wanted to he could beat him up. But Honey was more content on Mori's shoulder. Honey liked cute things and sweets and only fought when he really wanted to, never letting anyone pressure him into being someone he didn't want to be. Mori had looked up to that mindset. And now that mindset was in a coffin, looking peaceful and young in the coffin. Mori couldn't stand it. Honey belonged on his shoulders. He glanced around. No one. It was too early. Mori's arms were aching but still strong. Strong enough to lift lifeless Mitskuni from the coffin. Strong enough to carry him out of the doors and keep walking. He had no idea what he was doing or why but Honey was meant to be held by him. Meant to be carried. It felt normal. This was how it was supposed to be. Except it wasn't the same. He couldn't feel Honey's gentle breathing or soft heart beat. It wasn't real but he made it be in his mind. He pretended. And that was what hurt him most. Not the pushing him until he ached, but the pretending. Because deep inside him he knew that this would never be the same.


	9. The one that was scary

**Chapter 9-** The one that was scary

Kyoya was scary. Honey woken up from a nap was scary. But they hid their scary behind their charm. And they had _plenty_ of charm. But there was one gentlemen associated with the host club that couldn't hide his scary behind charm because he had none. Ritsu Kasanoda. Everyone was scared of Kasanoda. Which was ridiculous because he wasn't scary in the least. He had a bit of a temper, but everyone did sometimes. He was actually quite gentle and loving and loyal to his friends. He loved gardening and small animals. And big animals. And Haruhi. He really really loved Haruhi. And being her friend. He wanted to be friends but he couldn't. There were rules. And he was okay with that. Just being her friend was enough. Just being her friend could make the sunshine bright and the blue sky bluer and just being her friend was better than all the riches in the world. There were many rich students at Ouran. But rich couldn't buy Haruhi and the happiness she contained and freely shared even though she'd been through so much. Kasanoda respected that.

So when someone challenged his beloved Haruhi's dignity... Well anyone would have done it. Rich jerky girl didn't like Haruhi. Rich Jerky girl's boyfriend didn't like it when Kasanoda had yelled at her for shoving Haruhi to the ground. The girl's boyfriend threw the first punch, Kasanoda, not much of a fighter, had to defend himself. But his attacker had friends. Haruhi barely had enough time to pick herself up off the ground before Kasanoda was on it. Blood trickling out of his cracked open skull. No, trickling was too nice of a word. It was gushing. Haruhi stared. By the time she registered it it was too late for Kasanoda. His attackers were the kind of people who kicked a man when he was down, and they didn't stop kicking until Kasanoda didn't have a pulse. Haruhi fled to Music room #3. She had scraped her arms when she was shoved and tears were forming in her eyes. When she got there she was sobbing. Hikaru caught her and Tamaki rushed over.

"What's wrong? Haruhi whats wrong? You're bleeding what happened?" Tamaki and Hikaru asked at almost the same time. Kyoya stepped over in interest. Haruhi fell to the ground and curled up.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I can't I can't... Kasa... Kasanoda just... Just died... I watched... I didn't do anything. He died because of me." She was mumbling and panicking, curled up on the floor her mind in turmoil. The image of her friend dead and bloody on the ground hurt her too much. She'd lost her mom but this was different. She'd watched this happen. And it had happened because someone had shoved _her_. Kasanoda had died defending _her_. Haruhi was usually strong and usually fairly happy but today she was broken down on the concrete sobbing her eyes out. The host club just stared.

"Kasanoda is dead?" Tamaki asked, shocked.

"They killed him. I didn't do anything I could have I just stared..."

"Who killed him?"

"I don't know, there were a bunch of people I didn't recognize any of them."

"Its going to be investigated. You didn't do anything wrong fights happen. Rich kids think they can take it too far and get away with it. But we'll find out who did it." Kyoya meant each word as her pulled Haruhi to her feet. She trembled and fell. Kyoya caught her a bit hesitantly and brought her to the couch. They'd never really touched before. Not like this. He set her on the couch and she curled up again.

"you don't understand though. It was my fault. S-she shoved me and then her boyfriend and Kasanoda started fighting and then more people came and Kasanoda... bloddy on the ground it was... It was horrible."

'I know. Come on. Mori get the bandages her arm."

"I'm fine my arm is fine..." she muttered. She was still crying. No one blamed her or told her to stop. For the first time forever she wasn't just Haruhi their friend or crush. Haruhi was fragile now. Like a child. Like an egg. And no one saw her as a crush they just saw her as the little girl who needed to be comforted and protected.

"You're not fine. There's blood on your uniform. Let us help okay?" Kyoya and Tamaki were staying incredibly calm. Kyoya was always calm, but by this point Tamaki would've usually been in hysterics. But they both knew they had to help Haruhi. In Haruhi's head the world was falling to pieces. someone had died for her. someone she really liked and respected. One of her best friend's at Ouran.

"I knew he liked me." She blurted.

"Like liked me. I knew that. But that would've complicated things so I denied it. But I shouldn't have. I liked him too. And now he's dead. And its my fault and I don't deserve to be defended. He shouldn't have died for me. I don't deserve it. He was the best person ever. Gentle and kind. He wasn't scary. I loved him. Maybe not as a boyfriend but at least as a friend I loved him." They bandaged her arm in silence.

"Everyone who really knows you would've done the same, died for you that is. He shouldn't have died. But anyone would have done it. I would have. We all would have. Trust me Haruhi, you're worth dying for." Later, Haruhi didn't remember who had said that. But it didn't matter. It had made her want to smile and sob at the same time. So she had. She was fragile then. But she got put back together. Still, Kasanoda's death would always leave part of her broken, and the dead and bloody boy on the concrete would always haunt her dreams.

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**How's that for getting int o Haruhi's head? **


	10. The one that couldn't have both

**Chapter 10- **The one who couldn't have both.

It was Hikaru's fault. It wasn't Hikaru's fault for wanting to have both. Haruhi and their little world.

"No. If its anyone's fault its mine. I made it clear our world wasn't important to _me_ anymore. I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have hurt him..." Kaoru said. Therapy. Only the first month and it was already not helping. But then, Kaoru didn't really want to be helped. He wanted to suffer. He wanted to suffer a lot. He felt he deserved it. If he wasn't dead with Hikaru then he would torture himself until he was.

"Your brother's death wasn't your fault Kaoru-" The gentle therapist said. She was the best money could buy, his parent's spared no expense to help Kaoru recover. But it wasn't working. The best wasn't good enough.

"HE WAS MORE THAN JUST MY BROTHER HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND! AND I KILLED HIM! I KILLED HIM BEFORE HE WAS EVEN DEAD I SHOULDN'T HAVE HURT HIM LIKE THAT!"

"What did you do? Tell me. It will help..."

"It won't help..." He was reluctant to talk but eventually did. Three sessions. He'd trusted her enough to tell her this much. Might as well be out with the whole thing.

"I told you that we had a crush on the same girl... She's amazing and we always tend to like the same things... Well see... I yelled at him. I told him he wasn't good enough for her. He said... He said I know. That made me mad for some reason... Why wasn't he fighting for her? Why didn't he want her like I did? Was he just giving up? Haruhi is too good to be given up on and it made me FURIOUS. So I yelled some more... I said some things..." He went quiet. Tears dripped at his eyes.

"What did you say?" She prompted, offering him a tissue. He took it but just let the tears roll down his cheeks instead of wiping them away. He liked the way they felt as they fell.

"I told him he wasn't good enough for her again, and then I said he wasn't good enough for me. I said he wasn't good enough as a brother and that I wished I didn't have a brother because he made me sick. I was so mad but the hurt on his face... He looked so broken and I felt so horrible but I didn't have the words to say I'm sorry. He left. He was gone all night. Off driving. He never does that but no one stopped him. I woke up that night from a nightmare and he wasn't there to tell me it was okay like he always is and then I remembered what I said... I tried calling him. I searched the house but he was nowhere. His car was still gone so I left it alone. I just didn't go back to sleep. Except I must have because the next morning I woke up to police officers in our house. They told us what happened. He must of gotten sleepy. He should have come home! He should have! He almost hit someone. A family. Two adults three kids. Little kids... He didn't want to hit them. He swerved. He drove off a bridge and its my fault. Everything is my fault. You can't fix me because I should be the one dead."

"Its not your fault. It was Hikaru's decision to go out there alone in the dark."

"But I pushed him to that decision. Before his body was dead his heart was broken the words I said killed him. It made him feel like he wasn't a good person. Our world was the most important thing to him and I told him that I wished it didn't exist. That I wished he didn't exist. He must have taken me seriously because the next morning I woke up and he's dead. Its my nightmare over and over again. Even though I wasn't there I see him swerve off that bridge. I hear him... He says 'you don't have a brother Kaoru. if thats what you want. if you pick her over me... i guess i'll just disappear...' our life together, the photographs and memories, in my dreams I see him and he's being erased from them one by one... Its my fault..." He looked at the clock. Their session had ended ten minutes ago, so he was free to leave. He'd said too much, shared too much. She couldn't fix him. No one could "fix" him.

To be fixed you had to have all the pieces. You could be partially fixed without all the pieces, but you'd never exactly work the same. Kaoru had lost a piece. The most important piece of all. His brother. They'd always been together, worked together. A machine, working together, always together, pushing people away so they'd stay perfectly intact just the two of them.

The minute people started coming into their lives they started breaking. It was always fixable though. Until Haruhi. Suddenly Kaoru hadn't minded their machine being a little broken. He figured if things didn't work out with the Ouran Host Club their machine could always be put back together. He figured even if people entered their lives they'd still always have each other.

And then one of the pieces had drowned in the bottom of a bridge.

How could he be fixed now? When he'd practically been the one driving his brother off the bridge. He wished he'd been the one driving his brother off the bridge. Because then at least they would have died together.

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**Not actually unrealistic that Kaoru would snap. He does in the manga. I haven't finished the manga, so if you have no spoilers.**


	11. The one who wasn't invited

**Chapter 11-** The one that was never invited

Haruhi Fujioka was mostly independent. She could do anything by herself and was glad to do so. Hard work didn't faze her. She was practically fearless! (Okay there' that thunderstorm thing but she's getting better.) So people usually thought she was okay. People usually thought that she didn't need them in her life and that they were kind of just there, useless in her story just background characters. How could she not be the heroine, pretty, strong, hard working and independent? How could everyone else not feel unnecessary? Her father felt that way. Like he was just slowing her down. It hurt him but there it was. If she needed him wouldn't he get invited to school things and such? She practically ran the house. Ryoji, "Ranka" was okay with her running the house. He saw that working made her happy. Working made him happy too. Being able to provide food and shelter for his daughter when there wasn't much else he could do for her. He enjoyed sitting down and eating dinner with her. He cherished each second with her because he knew one day she'd move out and have a life of her own and she would do wonderful at it. So he cherished the time he had. He loved his daughter, even if she was embarrassed of him and didn't invite him to things.

Haruhi was **_NOT_** embarrassed of her father. The way he was made him happy and relaxed him. He deserved to be relaxed. He was always so stressed out working hard to provide for them. Running the house was just her way of thanking him, besides she liked hard work. She could tell her father liked hard work too, but he was pushing himself too hard, stressing himself out worrying. So she didn't invite him to things. He didn't have time, didn't need to worry about remembering and getting there on time and apologizing if he missed it. He'd only missed one thing of hers before she decided to stop telling him about them. It made him feel so guilty and besides, it hurt a little when he missed it. She would rather him never know than feel the hurt of him knowing and not being able to make it. If he knew and didn't make it she'd have to pretend she was okay and accept the apology and be brave little Haruhi. Him not knowing made pretending easier. Besides she had the host club, and they acted as second family. They couldn't take the place of her real father, but she never had to protect them from stress or guilt like she did with him. So she didn't invite him to things. She left him out of her life almost completely, not realizing that her father didn't realize how much she loved him. Never realizing that he didn't know that she _**WAS**_ proud of him.

She never got the chance to tell him though. Not about how much she loved him or how proud she was. And she fully intended too, one day, when things weren't as complicated at school. Except one day... Well it was a Saturday. She was washing dishes. They didn't have a dish washer so she did them by hand. Tamaki would probably find that so quaint and commonerish. The phone rang. Her hands were wet, so she ignored it the first time. It was probably someone from host club. It rang again and she dried her hands picking it up.

"Hello?" She asked.

"Miss Fujioka?"

"Yeah?"

"Ranka's daughter?"

"Yeah."

"I'm so sorry... He's dead. He had a heart attack." Haruhi dropped the phone, and it landed accidentally in the sink, the sink that was full of soapy dish water. She didn't move to fish it out. She just freaked out. How could her dad be dead?! Her mom was dead hadn't she lost enough? She never thought like that before but suddenly now she did. She was mad at fate and life and everything for her dad's death. She cried. She never cried but now she did. She just cried. All through Saturday. Most of Sunday. She barely composed herself Monday to go to school.

"Haruhi! What happened? We couldn't reach you? Did you lose your phone?" The host club was concerned.

"I dropped it in the sink." She mumbled, her eyes red, her voice hollow, and unnatural frown on her face.

"What's wrong? You look sick. What happened?" Tamaki asked.

"She's been this way all day." Hikaru told the rest of them, sounding worried. Kyoya hugged her.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"What do you know?" Tamaki yelled at Kyoya, mad at Kyoya for always knowing EVERYTHING and never telling them.

"My dad died." Haruhi choked out. Everything fell silent.

"Do you need help Haruhi? Have you been living alone this whole time?" Haruhi didn't answer so they immediately knew she had.

"You don't have to be alone Haruhi. You're not okay you need help let us help you. Let us be there for you." They said.

"No, guys, I'm fine... I can take care of myself."

"You're too young to live alone, its illegal. Besides you're in no position to be able to take care of yourself right now. You look like you haven't eaten since he died." Kyoya deduced, speaking gently so as not to hurt her.

"When did he die?" Tamaki asked.

"Saturday."

"We'll find someone to take care of you and find a way you can stay at Ouran. We're not going to let you be alone. We're ALWAYS going to be there for you. We'll get you a new phone and-"

"No. Stop it you're being too... I don't deserve this! I deserve to be alone I can take care of myself he'd want it that way."

"No he wouldn't. He wouldn't want you just to survive he'd want you to be happy too. You're not going to be happy if you push us away and live alone. Please let us help you you've helped us so much. Please."

"okay..." She said, breaking down tears finally falling in front of them.

"Okay. please... help me." She finally asked for help. She'd been afraid too but she needed it now more than ever while guilt washed over her. She felt like she should've invited him more. But she knew or at least hoped he was watching over her now.

"I loved him..." She mumbled as they hugged her.

"We know. He did too."

"No. No he didn't."

"Yes, yes he did. You might not have said it out loud, but everything you do shows people how much you care for them. And you did so much for him."

"Not enough. I never invited him."

"You did that for him too." She sighed and wished she had just one more chance to invite her father into her life. Just one. But she didn't. She had to survive. And be happy. For him.

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**I like this one. **


	12. the one who told him to smile

**Chapter 12-** The one who told him to smile

Tamaki had never wanted to leave his mother. He'd never wanted to go live with his father, not that he actually lived with his father. He didn't blame his father, or his mother, or his grandmother. He was obedient and he lived each day to the fullest, never stopping smiling. If he stopped smiling then everything would be for nothing. His mom wanted him to smile. His mom was always smiling too, at least according to Kyoya. Tamaki had been shocked when he found out Kyoya had searched for his mother when Kyoya went on the class trip, but also extremely grateful. It was good to know his mother was okay.

But she wasn't okay forever. One day his father called to tell him, in the middle of Host club, that his mother had passed away. Tamaki stood abruptly and walked away. He only told Kyoya what had happened.

"I'm sorry but Host club is closed for today, everyone please leave." Kyoya said.

"But-"

"No exceptions everyone please leave now." He said a bit more sternly. People trickled out, looking back at Music room 3 confused.

"What happened? Why'd you clear the room?" The other hosts asked, worried. Kyoya went to get Tamaki from the corner.

"Are you okay Tamaki?" Kyoya asked. Tamaki's smile had given up minutes ago. He trembled, bit his lip, then wept.

"What happened?" Haruhi asked, helping to support Tamaki who was sobbing now.

"His mother..." Kyoya said quietly, as Tamaki was unable to speak. They frowned and moved to try to comfort him. Haruhi tried to hold him up even though Tamaki was so much taller than her. Kyoya helped her get him to the couch where he curled up in a ball and continued to weep. Only Haruhi had any idea what it was like to lose a parent, but she didn't know how to comfort him. She just ran her hand through his hair as he cried his head in her lap and murmured attempts at being reassuring.

"She would have been proud of you Tamaki. You're so good. You're so kind. And you always smiled just like she wanted she would have been proud I bet she's watching right now I bet she's proud of you." Tamaki nodded.

"I... I wanted to see her again one more time I wanted to and now and now I never will... I just wanted her to get better! I never wanted to leave her behind!"

"She did get better. You helped her get better. You helped her be happy for longer than she would have been. She lived longer than she would have. And she was happy because she knew that you were here happy and surrounded by friends who love you and care about you." Kyoya said. The words seemed to come out of nowhere. They didn't sound like things the dark lord would say. But then things were different when Kyoya was doing them for Tamaki. Tamaki changed everything. It was hard to think that the woman who had made Tamaki the way he was was now gone. Only Kyoya had met her, and Tamaki missed her. The stories he told made the host club think she was a wonderful person. You would have to be a wonderful person to make Tamaki into the man he was now. Even if he'd been young when he'd left his mother, she'd still had such a big impact on him.

The boy who always smiled was now blubbering uncontrollably, because her death had made almost as big of an impact on him as her life had.

"You made her happy Tamaki. The time spent with you was the best part of her life. The time spent without was happy too because she knew you were safe and happy. Just the thought of you was enough to make you happy. You didn't fail her you made her life more amazing than she ever thought it would be. Be happy for her, she would want you to be." Kyoya channeled the voice again, being comforting rather than cold.

"I"m ALWAYS SMILING KYOYA LET ME CRY FOR ONCE LET ME BREAK LET ME BE UPSET JUST FOR ONE DAY."

"Okay. You don't have to smile in front of us. You don't have to try to make us happy or charm us with your personality. That's the thing about friends, you don't have to do anything to win them over. Be upset. But you only get a day. It would break our hearts to see you sad for longer than that."

'"Tomorrow I'll smile. For her. But today I'm going to cry, for her." He said in barely a whisper. And he did. He regretted missing his mother for years to come. He probably always would. And sometimes he got sad thinking about her. But even on sad days he always smiled through the pain. She had always wanted him to smile. It was for the best.


	13. Promise

**This chapter is different because it is a backstory of the Tamaki dies chapter.**

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**Chapter 13- **Promise

Kyoya hadn't really known to expect when Tamaki missed school one day but insisted that none of the other Host Club members come check on him. Kyoya, however, had been specifically invited. And since Kyoya had never been able to understand what went on inside of Tamaki's brain he had no idea what to expect.

He'd spent plenty of time at Tamaki's house. In Tamaki's bedroom. They would talk or do homework. They were top of the class and worked together at every opportunity to get an even better grade. He had sat beside Tamaki at the piano while his friend played. Tamaki's skills were unmatched by anyone Kyoya had ever heard play, and one of his favorite things in the world was sitting and listening to Tamaki's music and just forgetting about life and responsibilities. Kyoya didn't expect to hear any music that day. He suspected the visit was at least mildly important or he wouldn't have been summoned alone.

It started out fairly normal. Antoinette attacked him with her tongue, jumping happily on him. Another on of Kyoya's secrets was that he really liked dogs, at least Tamaki's dog. He scratched Antoinette behind the ears and smiled at her. Tamaki was standing on the top of the stairs watching. Kyoya managed to get out from under and over enthusiastic Antoinette and headed up the steps to see Tamaki. Tamaki was still in his pajamas. He looked sleepy and innocent, like a young child rather than the charming prince he usually strode around as.

"Are you okay Tamaki?" Kyoya asked, concerned.

"Come into my room and sit down anywhere." Tamaki ordered. His voice wavered a little in a way Kyoya hadn't heard before. Kyoya followed him, worried. They both sat on the bed. Kyoya found himself instinctively hugging on Antoinette, who wasn't supposed to be on the bed but usually was anyway. Tamaki stroked Antoinette, sighing.

"Okay what's wrong. Tell me what's wrong right now." Kyoya commanded, nervous, jittery and upset.

"I'm sick."

"You missed school, I knew that already." Tamaki wouldn't have missed host club for any less of a reason.

"No, Kyo its..." Tamaki sighed. He stood. He combed his hand through his unbrushed hair, paced a few steps.

"I'm really sick. Like my mom was, but, worse. I want you to take over host club completely and you'll probably get top of the class like you wanted..." Kyoya was standing, though his legs suddenly felt weak, unable to hold him up.

"What do you mean really sick? What do you mean worse?" Words swam around him. He felt ill.

"You're taking this badly I'm sorry don't be upset..." Kyoya sank back down on the bed, paler than usual.

"I'm not upset. I'm really not this is fixable it's okay, you can get better I'll make sure you get the best medical treatment out there your mom got better she was fine so you'll get better too. This is fixable..." He was talking frantically, mostly to himself. Tamaki gripped his shoulders, Kyoya realized he was shaking.

"I SAID IT WAS WORSE KYOYA! I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT I'M NOT GETTING BETTER!" Kyoya didn't know if Tamaki was yelling or if that was just how the words impacted him. He did know however that he was yelling when he replied.

"YOU ARE GETTING BETTER YOU HAVE TO." He screamed, his throat aching afterwards. He saw Tamaki as he said he was, sick, worse, not getting better. A living corpse. He trembled, backed away.

"Say you're going to get better. Please say it. Let me help. Let my family help. We've got thousands of medical experts at our disposal let them try to find a cure you can get better let me help please let me help..." Tamaki shook his head.

"I don't want that Kyo. I don't need that. There are a lot of people your staff can help. I'm not one of them. Let them focus on the people they can help."

"Is there anything I can do?" Kyoya was desperate, close to weeping. He wasn't the sick one but he looked like a mess, still trembling, knees weak.

"Two things." Tamaki said, managing a smile.

"I'll do it. Anything just let me help." His voice was strained.

"Don't tell the others. The host club, your family, anyone. Second, just be my friend. Just stick around." Kyoya was hesitant to promise the first, but the second was much easier.

"I promise I will."

"Good. Well that's settled. Come on. I'll play for you." He hadn't expected to hear music this visit. He didn't really hear it though. He kept hearing the words. "I need you to understand that I'm not getting better." It did sound and awful lot like yelling. Each piano key screamed it, until he pushed away from the piano bench and ran out of the house.


End file.
